不悟 (Unrepentant) – 则慕 (BE)

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The first time they met, he was a downtrodden prince everybody bullied whilst she was a small palace maid responsible for washing the clothes of the people in the palace.

Twenty years of companionship; he is the only one capable of influencing her emotions. For him, she is willing to immerse her hands in the blood of others, to help him rule this world.

Even though she wasn’t the one he loved, and she wasn’t the one he married, she insisted on remaining by his side, aiming to become the one and only woman capable of standing by his side whilst he held court and the one and only woman in his harem – even if doing so would cause her to get insulted by the entire world.

However, that person whom she loved so much, that person for whom she committed all sorts of preposterous acts for – wanted her to die.

He said, “In this lifetime, I don’t wish to see you ever again!”

She returned to him as a spirit, yet he begged for another lifetime together.

“If we have another lifetime together, I want you to love me and respect me from a very young age, and help me clear all the obstacles standing in my way. You would be forced to watch me love one, and marry another – but both of them would not be you. You must love me so crazily and so deeply that everybody knows about it, and yet you would never be able to truly receive my entire love and affection. On innumerable occasions, you would be misunderstood by me, and hurt by me. The only few tears you shed in your entire lifetime would be for me, and ultimately you would have to die for me. Even after you die, you would not be allowed to rest in peace – instead, you would transform into a spirit and return to my side… Only if you do all these, would you be able to compensate me for what I have done in this lifetime.”

Loving a person, even though it’s misguided, one insists on remaining in error; it’s as though one entered into a dream one morning, and remains unable to gain enlightenment even till death.

[Ebook] [Bất ngộ]

 

23 Responses

  1. Tea.Thyme
    Tea.Thyme November 8, 2015 at 6:08 am |

    Wow. This is angsty from the get-go! I fear my heart might be too weak for this. Was it good though?

  2. Remy
    Remy November 9, 2015 at 5:07 am |

    Wow, even reading the synopsis made me sad. Then I saw the BE tag. That’s nice to hear that it’s not too drawn out though.

  3. forevermich
    forevermich November 9, 2015 at 7:29 am |

    Thank you for sharing this book! I finished this book quite fast (about 30 minutes) and I was really enjoyed reading this book. I cried after reading this part “If we have another lifetime together, I want you to love me and respect me from a very young age, and help me clear all the obstacles standing in my way. You would be forced to watch me love one, and marry another – but both of them would not be you. You must love me so crazily and so deeply that everybody knows about it, and yet you would never be able to truly receive my entire love and affection. On innumerable occasions, you would be misunderstood by me, and hurt by me. The only few tears you shed in your entire lifetime would be for me, and ultimately you would have to die for me. Even after you die, you would not be allowed to rest in peace – instead, you would transform into a spirit and return to my side… Only if you do all these, would you be able to compensate me for what I have done in this lifetime.” It sounds very sad to me . I am still thinking about this lol… This book is pretty short, well written with a pretty quick pace so would definitely recommend to people reading it during free time hah . I would consider it as sad at the ending since it ruined my happy mood after reading but definitely not that sad. My type of books I liked

  4. maira
    maira November 9, 2015 at 8:14 am |

    Sounds like my thing. Anyone knows the Viet title?

  5. forevermich
    forevermich November 9, 2015 at 4:18 pm |

    @dramasbooksandtea
    I also liked that part too. But I really hate him for burning the drawing right in front of GHJ spirit since I remembered that she wanted him to keep it to remember her. But, I still feel sad for LSZ since like what you had mentioned: he no longer have any memento to remember her anymore. Well I never thought that I was a fast reader in Chinese books but at least you should be considered as a fast reader too since all my classmates would probably took 3 days to read it completely (or probably wouldn’t complete it).

    P.S my classmates most of them know Chinese since they are Chinese too but they can’t stand Chinese words …

  6. tuey
    tuey November 11, 2015 at 4:49 am |

    I know this isn’t related at all, but i liked to ask what it is BE, OE,And SE. Firstly I thought BE is bad ending and SE is sad ending, but I saw another people comments that BE actually pretty good ending. I am getting more confused. Please help me understand

  7. tuey
    tuey November 12, 2015 at 10:58 am |

    Owh, thank you for explanation. But im still curious about OE. What it is the meaning behind it?

  8. hamster428
    hamster428 November 12, 2015 at 11:53 am |

    OE = Open ending

  9. cloudandsea
    cloudandsea December 6, 2015 at 6:30 pm |

    Thanks for sharing! 🙂

    This book was quite good. I like the scene where she first killed a person and how she realises that he would never see her as long as the second female lead was there.

    It was such a painful moment to know that the drawing that he threw was the last and only one he was left with… Sigh. I wish he was more aware of the dangers of sending her to the war and that it was such a wrong move to do when they were quarrelling.

    Overall my type of book especially when I was craving for a 虐心 novel hahaha!

  10. DOH
    DOH December 4, 2016 at 12:57 pm |

    Can someone tell me what happened to the 2nd female lead? Did the emperor love her? If so, how much? I hoped the heroine was the only one he gave his heart to.

  11. Grace
    Grace December 12, 2016 at 7:36 pm |

    Well..he is still ass**le and there is no excuse for that..That type of male lead is my most hated male lead kind in novels…The plot line is nothing new for chinese historical novel but what is new is damb male lead …U know that in other historical novels whatever the male lead is cold,ruthless, and thousands of women in harem..But when they come to love their female lead there is no doubt,no hesitation..Don’t even mention that for second love or other woman after the femlae lead..But this novel? Even knowing that female lead fighting the side by side with him from all this a long and he married his so called love? What a mess!!!

  12. DOH
    DOH December 14, 2016 at 11:34 am |

    @dramasbooksandtea Thank you(❀╹◡╹)/”. It’s good he only loved her. But I guess he didn’t love her enough as he treated her like that and thought he loved someone else TT.TT
    @Grace I fully agree. I always think it’s pathetic in all those dramas, books etc when characters don’t realize who they love. Like, how can you not know?? And take her for example, you can see she obviously loved him
    And he doesn’t love her even half of how much she loved him (◣_◢╬)

  13. Lovingangst
    Lovingangst December 18, 2016 at 10:31 pm |

    thank you for the spoilers and comments. I started reading the English translation and immediately wanted to punch the male lead in the face. I really want to read the part when he finds out she died and how much he regrets how he treated her. At least its a modicum of payback for how much he took her for granted…
    Alas, i am unable to read it in the original language and can only rely on translators.. ahhh, i wish i could be like the lucky ones who can read it in one go ~ the wait is torture!

  14. Yuemitsuki
    Yuemitsuki December 25, 2016 at 1:00 pm |

    @Lovingangst if you really can’t wait, you can try to machine traslated from raw. But for the first timer it will make your eyes hurt a lot, though..

    Reading this novel really make me want to bash the male lead’s head. He really…hateful. to mistake his love to someone else. He truly deserves the pain he get for treating female lead like that. The female lead deserve more happy ending with someone else… Someone who treasures her better than the male lead.

  15. Nancy
    Nancy February 3, 2017 at 2:46 am |

    So I just finished reading this novel and man is it good. Of course it is very sad buy I still love it and I believe that this is very realistic because sometimes in life one missed chance is all it takes and one miss understanding can give you regret for a life time. I can relate to the lessons here because experiencing it does make you feel the way these two characters does.

  16. Haweii
    Haweii February 3, 2017 at 3:00 am |

    A bit late but I read it per MT so I am a bit confused… What realy happened to the first love of the emperor when she committed suicide? What is the truth behind the whole story? And why did it destroy their relationship to that extend?
    What I understood is that she showed the first prince a picture of that girl so that he want to marry her and her father declining the proposal. But he actually accepted and the girls committed suicide. The MC blames herself and didn’t dare to tell him the truth and this destroyed their trust?

    Please enlighten me

  17. Arty
    Arty November 12, 2017 at 4:59 am |

    Thanks for sharing this book. I really liked it and it made me cry a lot. At the end of the raws, the author said something about there being something extra in published version of the book. I wanted to know what else is there in the extra. Did anyone here read it?

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