A three-step guide to destroy a triad boss <一个黑道大哥的毁灭三部曲》by无袖拢香

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I am not sure if I can post this short piece of writing in SSB. It is only 13500 words long. For those who can read Chinese this is really a very light-hearted read. This is the story of Li How Ran and his ambition of wanting to become a bad person since he was 3 years old. Why? Because his mum say good boys use only one gun while those who are bad have many. When he was 12, the family end up adopting a girl whom he “rescued”. He eventually fall in love with her. The story is narrated from LHR view and how he abandoned his noble “dream” of becoming a triad boss and end up as a CEO of a MNC. His views are so honest and funny. His dad’s view on incest is plain hilarious.

[Ebook] [Ba bước hủy diệt một đại ca xã hội đen][English Translation]

 

40 Responses

  1. lidge
    lidge August 31, 2012 at 2:55 pm |

    peanuts, here’s one of my favorites. It’s very short, but the story is beyond adorable: 一个黑道大哥的毁灭三步曲 by 无袖拢香.

  2. lidge
    lidge September 1, 2012 at 2:38 pm |

    Prob b/c it’s very short, more like a comedy piece. No angst or anything dramatic, just a cute story and laughs all around so I read it whenever I’m feeling down. I can translate it for you when I’m done with school, peanuts. Hopefully, I can fully capture the humor since the translation is Chinese -> Viet -> Eng.

    The story is about an adorable little boy spoiled rotten by his parents & grandmother. He grows up liking guns and wanting to become a gangster because he’s a fan of the bad guys in the TV shows he watches…haha. In one of his escapades to terrorize his neighbors, he rescues an abusive little girl, and his family ends up adopting her. As they grow up, he slowly falls in love with her. As a result, he unknowingly changes from a wanna-be gangster to wanting to be a “good” citizen for her….lol.

    Here’s a short part I’ve translated. This is when the little boy starts having feelings for the little girl, but he’s confused because she’s his adopted sister so he comes to his father for advice……

    I really love my little sister. I must be a pervert! I’m overwhelmed by disgust with myself. In the end, on a beautiful day, I come to my dad to ask him why I’ve been feeling strange, as if I’ve hit rock bottom.

    I confess to him: “Dad, please wake me up. I’m a total pervert.”
    My dad is startled: “Why are you a pervert?”
    I continue shamefully: “I’m having incestuous thoughts, and I can’t stop.”
    My dad jumps up: “Are you having indecent thoughts about your mother?”
    I shake my head in denial. My dad becomes more alarmed: “With your grandmother? No? Then is it me?”

    Does my dad not realize his reasoning is becoming more irrational? Does he think we’re in the middle of a forbidden gay love story? I’m already embarrassed about what I’m feeling, but I’m more embarrassed that my dad is not smart enough to figure it out. I couldn’t take it anymore and shouts loudly, “How can I feel this way?! She’s my little sister!” My dad hits my forehead softly, “Who are you trying to kid? You and your little sister are not related by blood so it’s not incestuous. What a dummy! If you like her, tell her quickly so you can get a good start before the other guys. God made time, but man made haste(1), got it?*”

    [(1)The Chinese proverb is more like “water in the plowing fields will not wait for the plowers” or something to that effect. Sounds kind of awkward to me and I don’t have time to search for a Chinese proverb that I like so decided to go with an Irish saying.]

  3. lidge
    lidge September 1, 2012 at 2:39 pm |

    Sorry, I meant he rescues a little girl that’s been abused, not abusive little girl.

  4. decembi
    decembi September 11, 2014 at 6:31 am |

    I personally love love love love this short story. I translated a bit of it months ago because I wanted to post it as a translation special, then I fell sick and forgot about it. Haha.

    If it’s not translated by the end of the year, I will probably pick it up again. Maybe as a christmas special.

    Highly recommended!

  5. Peanuts
    Peanuts September 11, 2014 at 7:01 am |

    Ha, both of you have stolen lidge’s fav short story lol. She wanted to translate this since 2 yrs ago but Snow Berries, you can do it bcos lidge is slack, lol.

  6. decembi
    decembi September 11, 2014 at 7:02 am |

    Hahaha I did not know about lidge’s comment in 2012! It’s a great story. One of my comedic favourities. So short and sweet!

  7. Peanuts
    Peanuts September 11, 2014 at 7:08 am |

    Lidge’s comments are all over the place so would you believe that she wanna be a librarian lol? Every time when someone posted a relevant book I’ve to dig my memory & transfer her comments to the relevant post:P Yes, this book is short & sweet but too short:(

  8. decembi
    decembi September 11, 2014 at 7:11 am |

    Librarian! That is really awesome! No wonder she seems to know all books hahaha.

    I think the greatness of the story is how short it is! It’s so perfect to re-read. Probably only will have time in December to translate this though – I am full steam ahead to finish Heavy Sweetness.

  9. Peanuts
    Peanuts September 11, 2014 at 7:18 am |

    Decembi, are you trying to cross the finishing line ahead of my Silent Separation lol? Ya work hard on your Heavy Sweetness so could you please ask your good friend to start moving her stagnant story along as well:P (cough cough, I’ve no more air:()?

  10. decembi
    decembi September 11, 2014 at 7:19 am |

    Haha, I don’t think so. I think you will finish first. I still have at least 6 more chapters to go for Heavy Sweetness and Dian Xian’s chapters get longer and longer as she reaches the end. But, I do plan to finish it before my blog turns one years old (cross fingers).

    Teehee, I asked her before and she will continue sooner or later. Heeheehee.

  11. yui
    yui September 12, 2014 at 7:51 am |

    just using google translate.. and yatta, i like this short story.. i couldn’t stop smiling.. but then.. they are together for a long time.. wow..just wow..

    too short, i want more, hehe.. thank you for posting about this novel ^^

  12. Snow Berries
    Snow Berries September 12, 2014 at 9:53 am |

    I didn’t realised that Lidge had done the translation….I can read English and Chinese fairly well but not to the level for translation. …..saw this title at a Chinese forum page….I like this kind of 青梅竹马 story and was still having lingering thoughts on《船到桥头自然直》….I was smiling like an idoit throughout my haircut too..

  13. Moonblossom
    Moonblossom September 21, 2014 at 6:47 am |

    A short and happy read. I like the thought process of the hero – deadpan but humorous. Thanks for the recommendation!!

  14. Dreamer
    Dreamer September 22, 2014 at 4:41 am |

    Love this short story! It was hilarious! Thanks for the recommendation.

  15. MoonBlossom
    MoonBlossom September 22, 2014 at 2:50 pm |

    Peanuts, I just noticed the ratings feature! I know iris probably there for a while but what a nice addition! Great job!

  16. Pm
    Pm September 22, 2014 at 3:00 pm |

    Hilarious….totally hilarious…more like a slapstick comedy than a story….

  17. MoonBlossom
    MoonBlossom September 22, 2014 at 3:02 pm |

    [(1)The Chinese proverb is more like “water in the plowing fields will not wait for the plowers” or something to that effect.Sounds kind of awkward to me and I don’t have time to search for a Chinese proverb that I like so decided to go with an Irish saying.]

    Just a suggestion, I’ll say “a smart farmer will not let the fertile waters flow into another one’s field”

  18. Pm
    Pm September 22, 2014 at 3:03 pm |

    Hey….did babymama just require a password???

  19. Pm
    Pm September 22, 2014 at 3:14 pm |

    Oky folks….bad news……babymama site has installed password access to certain books/sites. I tried a couple of different books…some are able to open some are not.
    Tried to register a password but it says unable to do so at the moment…so if anyone is able to register..please do update k….thanks 🙂

    I’m so sad…..y are they making it so hard to read free books….

  20. MoonBlossom
    MoonBlossom September 22, 2014 at 4:15 pm |

    I just finished her other short passage – 快说你爱我 (Quick! Say you Love Me) – and it is equally hilarious. Better, in fact, cos it is a no-holds-barred diary of an imperfect man. If you like “A three step Guide to destroy a triad boss” you will like “Quick! Say you Love Me” as well

  21. Pm
    Pm September 22, 2014 at 4:25 pm |

    I wanted to google her other stories to read…but they are now locked…so can’t read them anymore……

  22. Peanuts
    Peanuts September 23, 2014 at 1:06 am |

    Pm: Yes, babymama needs a pw now:( Why? Why? We are reading & not posting anything so why need a password???? I am so annoyed now. I am not gonna change all my links bcos I think the book bar has more than 100 books linked there:( Just register or find alternate website, you can still read but more troublesome:( Btw Pm, I know you’ve rated the books & you are the culprit who rated Warm Chord 1 star only, lol. Bongsd is unhappy with u bcos she rated it 4 lol. I can’t see who rate how many but I can guess lol. I found this taiwan blog has quite a lot of the books so you can give it a try. I don’t know if the Chinese is simplified or traditional since I use google to read, I dun care:P I think this is the last time I m moving & in future anyone posting, pls try to find non-China links. http://ohping.4me.tw/

    MB: Thank u but the plug-in has been available for ages. Just tat I am very slack so it has taken me more than 2 yrs to install it & it was done bcos of bongsd’s continuous complains:P FYI, lidge is not a Chinese so she doesn’t know what she has written, lol.

  23. Pm
    Pm September 23, 2014 at 3:28 am |

    Hehehehehe…yes I’m the one who rated it awful…sorry bongsd…..I left a lot of comments for that story….almost puked blood…. And yup…I rated lots of other stories too…..

    Anyways..I tried registering but it doesn’t allow new members….also my registration for 19lou only allows me to use the forum and chat or talk about daily life..but when I try to read a story..it also doesn’t allow….anyone face the same problem?

    Btw…how do I find other sites? Isit trial and error? Coz I normally just google the story and click on all the different ones to see which leads to a complete story….a rather dumb method I must say….any faster method??

    Also Taiwan sites normally use old chinese/traditional chinese……sometimes can get the normal script tho….

  24. Peanuts
    Peanuts September 23, 2014 at 8:50 am |

    Pm, I think u need to earn points by posting etc. to access novels, so dun bother. Just trial & error as no website is as complete as babymama & 19lou:( Alternative is download ebook which u can even read when u r offline. If u dun really fancy the book, it is ok as some ebook have missing epilogues but u still get at least 90% or more of the story. If u love a particular book, then google a few more sites to ensure u’ve the full complete story with everything that has ever written by the author. I m using ebook now so very convenient, abt 5 mins to search & download.

  25. fussbuzz
    fussbuzz September 24, 2014 at 5:15 am |

    Hi Peanuts

    Which ebook do you use?

  26. Pm
    Pm September 24, 2014 at 6:05 am |

    Oky peanuts…pm is sobbing bucket loads now…..waaahhhhhh…….

  27. XinnXinn
    XinnXinn September 24, 2014 at 8:01 am |

    Shifu, are you saying that 91baby shall be forever out of bounds for us baby readers?? Or are they just doing some maintenance work??

  28. Peanuts
    Peanuts September 24, 2014 at 8:22 am |

    Xinn: I think u can kiss your baby goodbye. Dun complain to me bcos I am also a victim:( I’ll get hoju to check if there is any way to access it since I am illiterate:(

    Pm: You can cry on my shoulder but you’ve to pay for my dry cleaning bill, lol.

    fussbuzz: I download from coay book but actually u can download fr anywhere like bookbao.

  29. fussbuzz
    fussbuzz September 25, 2014 at 3:53 am |

    Hi Peanuts

    Do you need to be a member and do you need to pay to download from coay? I’ve ever tried going into that website, but I didn’t quite understand it as my Chinese isn’t too good. So I don’t know which place to click to download or do I need to register…

  30. Pm
    Pm September 25, 2014 at 4:44 pm |

    Thanks peanuts…sob sob..hope they do not slowly close down all sites….that will be disastrous!!!!

  31. Peanuts
    Peanuts September 26, 2014 at 8:24 am |

    Fussbuzz, I can’t read Chinese so I’ve no idea. I use my ipad to download to my open reader, just click & click, that is it. No need to be a member or pay but sometime there will be pop up msgs which I just ignore since I don’t know what they are lol.

    Don’t worry Pm, they can’t close down everything. I’ll find u the underground one if such a day comes:P

  32. hoju
    hoju September 26, 2014 at 8:17 pm |

    @fussbuzz,
    Coay’s website requires registration in order to download. If you use either the Coay app or link to Coay’s library through the Open Reader app, then you don’t need to register. However, I’ve noticed the apps do not have access to Coay’s entire library, so some stuff that can be found on Coay’s website will not be found in the app. It hasn’t bothered me much, though because their app library is *very* extensive.
    I have also downloaded txt files and opened on my iPad in a txt reader (I use Anyview) from chnxp.com. You have to be able to read Chinese to be able to navigate chnxp, but that one doesn’t require registration and has an extensive library too.

    @Peanuts,
    It’s probably telling you to update your version of Open Reader. 😉 If you still have the welcome screen that shows an iPhone, you are out of date in your version. LOL

    @Xinn,
    For the moment, 91babymama is not accepting new registrations. I’ve seen this with a few sites after the online crackdown started in China. Hopefully, they’ll open it up to new registrations some time soon and then people can access the novels. I just hope they don’t change the rules and require you to post to gain VIP status to read like 19lou or jjwxc.

  33. XinnXinn
    XinnXinn September 27, 2014 at 5:33 am |

    @hoju,
    I’ve more or less ditched 91baby. Sad, but I have moved on. I’m on coay too but hardly use it becoz involves additional clicks when I switch back and forth to Bing to translate. Sigh…..I m now looking for an audio app for iPad so that I can at least listen to the book whenever I can’t get online esp when I am travelling.

  34. fussbuzz
    fussbuzz September 27, 2014 at 2:24 pm |

    Oh, I have Open Reader App but I can’t seem to use it. When I tap on the document it doesn’t give the option ‘Open In Open Reader’. Is anyone able to help please? I’m not too good in figuring out how to use electronic gadgets…

  35. peach
    peach September 27, 2014 at 3:32 pm |

    Sorry! Just wondering, is coay free to register amd free to download? Because im not using an apple product so the app is not in my playstore and 91baby is not accessible…

  36. XinnXinn
    XinnXinn September 28, 2014 at 3:49 am |

    @Snowberries, apologies for jamming your post with so many issues unrelated to your book…LOL…but we are in a crisis here….lol…

  37. Snow Berries
    Snow Berries September 28, 2014 at 5:08 am |

    XX dearie….aren’t we all!!!!!!! We need to find alternate site to access these books ASAP

  38. bearbear
    bearbear March 23, 2015 at 12:58 am |

    LMAO I’m trying to read the granny’s words and was like WHAT IS SHE SAYING!!!? xD I don’t have a lot of time for long stories, this seems perfect 😀

  39. serendipity
    serendipity December 18, 2015 at 8:09 pm |

    I love this short story. it short and impactful. The male lead is so sweet and adorable. The female lead gives me a black bellied impression but i think its just my interpretation…

    Do you guys have any short story recommendations like this one? I dont have enough time to read another long novel…

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